Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Okay, like most women, I'm trying to have a great pregnancy. But I keep getting unwanted comments from my mother. For instance, I'm pretty sure most women have had slight cramping, due to their uterus growing, which I have on occasions. My Mom feels the need to tell me, that shes never had pain or cramping like that during her pregnancies, and its not a good thing to feel that. How does she know what I'm feeling? And it's not even technically "painful". And I cant even be in a bad mood anymore when I'm around her, because she keeps telling me with "Don't get worked up, you can still lose that baby". I understand shes more experienced with pregnancy than I am, being that this is my first child, but her comments are definitly unwanted, and she is making no sense. I would know when something is going wrong, and when something isn't right. I just hate that every comment she makes is about somethnig going wrong. How do I tell her this?

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

I would just tell her in a nice but firm way thats shes making you uncomfortable, and add that this being your first pregnancy should be a happy and exciting time, and shes making it a frustrating experience. tell her you want her involved with everything but she needs to focus a little more on the positive of being pregnant because shes only causing you stress...

I know its hard because its your mom but sometimes its just best to tell her how you feel..

I hope everything works out for you, and congrats!

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

My mother is the same way. She is just very concerned. I would just tell her that you know how to tell if something doesnt feel right and that if anything seems that way then you will bring it to her attention.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Wow! That would be bothersome and annoying. Just tell her straight out that you appreciate her concern, but not the negative comments. Good Luck!

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

exactly how you posted it! really! tell her to stop being so pessimistic, my goodness.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Just tell her you need more support and by making all the comments that she is making it is worrying you and could be harmful to the baby.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

avoid her if possible. You baby might have a strong resemblance when its born

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Just kill her with kindness.

When she offers unwanted advice, tell her, "thank you mother, I'll keep that in mind."

Or just tell her straight up that her comments stress you more than help you. She wants the baby to be as healthy as you do..so I think honesty is best.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

you need to sit her down and let her know that her comments are unwanted and if she wants to be around you now and when the baby is born she needs to have a more positive attitude because you don't want to raise a baby in a neg atmosphere...and at 23 weeks your baby can hear her too

however i know how you feel. my mother is forever say that i will not be able to handle having 2 children (pregnant with my second) and i'm thinking its a little late for that....why not just be happy for me. my husband and i are soo happy. she always ruins our happiness with rude comments. like when i told her i was pregnant with my second boy...she didn't believe me for a week because she wanted a girl.

good luck either way - remember you are going to be a mom and if you are happy then don't let her bring you down as hard as that is!!!!

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

OMG... It is the same way with my mother but she has different comments then your mother either way they are still unwanted and they make me upset. I think that are mothers mean well but everything that they do that normally gets on our nerves is enhanced because of the hormones.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

I would be straight forward with her about it. Just because you are still in the first trimester doesn't mean you have to dwell on the fact that this is when the risk of miscarriage is highest and it doesn't mean you are going to have one. Why should you focus on negative things like that? Tell her that her comments are unnecessary and mean. It might be nice for her to give you advice but she shouldn't be making such negative comments she needs to learn the difference.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Be honest and tell her in a sensitive way. I doubt she is trying to be mean. If she can't hold it back then distance yourself from her for a bit.

ps Im still having random twinges and aches (17 weeks) and my spawn isnt going anywhere!

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

my mom did almost the same thing, she was trying to name my baby. it pissed me off to the point where i yelled (in a very public place!) "NO mom! im not nameing the baby that, Ive picked the names i want and im sticking to them!" after that shes been good. she always asked how im feeling. and she only gives advice when i ask. tell your mother, that while her comments are welcome they are not encouraging. or if your tight with your mom and can get away with it scream at her. just let her know it bothers you.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Well, all i can say that you can refer back to her own comment "Don't get worked up, you can still lose that baby". Tell her that the comments she is giving you are having you get worked up.

Also, tell her that although you appreciate the information she is giving, that it is unneeded. Let her know that you have thing under control, and that you have your Dr. to talk to whenever you may have any concerns.

I'm sure she feels that she is always right, but there are alot of things that have changed since she was pregnant. I know because I would tell my mom certain things that the Dr. said and she would come back at me with "it was always the opposite when I was pregnant." It's a new century, and alot of things change. There are lots of medicines, and techniques that are done to prevent all kinds of things.

And this is your first child, then yes you are going to have light cramping because the uterus is growing. Just inform her that your Dr. said that everything is fine with you and the baby.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Tell her she is being so negative and its bringing you down and it makes you want to not be around her ask her to think before she speaks you dont need extra stress in your life right now

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Just tell her that you want her to be a more nurturing mother right now...

Give her the pouty "Mommy, just be sweet and baby me for now pleeeease" type of thing...

Or, you could let her know that hearing negative comments like that stress you out and hurt your feelings and THAT is more likely to "lose that baby" as she says... so instead you just need her to be sweet and be there for you!

Good luck, congrats!

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

JUST TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL.

TELL HER TO STOP.

AND SHE ISNT RIGHT CUZ EVERY PREGNANCY IS DIFFERENT SHE CANT TELL YOU HOW YOURS IS GONNA BE..

GOODLUCK AND CONGRATULATIONS

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

lol mums ey we are so annoying!!

she means well, but its stressing you!

leave this page up on the comp, so she sees it. or right it down and let her see it. if you do not want to tell her face 2 face.

or just tell her,

you love her, and she did a great job with you, you have learnt so much from her, and if you turn out to be half as good as her your child is going to be so lucky.

BUT you want to learn a few things on your own, and you may make mistakes, but you want to try, so YOU can feel like a real mum

as long as you are there i know you will always help me, which makes me happy .....

etc etc

that way u are complimenting her and being nice the way you say it.

if that was said to me i would not mind at all.

i used almost that exact 'speech' to my mum, and it worked.

good luck

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

my grandmother is the same way. She constantly tells me not to do anything cuz i'll lose the baby cuz she did with her 3rd. She wont even let me walk up stairs when i stop over to visit her. It does get annoying. And im 35 weeks and have only gained now about 14 lbs.. She keeps telling me my baby is probly not alive and i'll have a still born. I sat her down the otehr day and told her that the more she comments about things the more i worry and thats not good for the baby. I told her how it was bothering me and asked her if she would stop. And if she had nothing nice and positive to say then dont say anything at all. Its worked so far!! Good luck!

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

My mom does exactly the opposite. Every thing that I've felt, she swears she felt it with her 2 pregnancies. Even the really specific stuff like having a heart murmur! It's like my pregnancy can't be my own! Or the worst thing that she did was completely disagree with my doctors. Telling me I needed a second opinion. As if obgynie practices haven't changed in the past 30 years...

How I got around it was something like: Mom, I've talked to my docs about this problem and they say it's perfectly normal. I know you didn't experience it, but if the doc says it's ok, then it's ok. It bothers me that you disagree with me on this and con't to tell me so. Please let me handle what's right and wrong for me and the baby. Also, the doc say I'm having a normal, healthy pregnancy. Being preg. is a huge change and I'm going to have feelings about it. I'm going to get upset about stuff, like being uncomfortable and such. Please, let me have these feelings! It's important for me to sort out how I feel, not stuff it. Thanks for understanding.

That or you can directly engage her in how she felt while being pregnant. Like, what bothered you? etc... Maybe the talks can get more heart to heart, rather than "mother-daugtery".

Good luck, sometimes I just want to kick my mom so I feel ya.

Ughh!! Unwanted comments from mother...?

Tell her that if she expects to be involved in your baby's life, she better stop with the comments. I know she is trying to look out for you, but the comments she is making are uncalled for.